10 Things To Let Go Of To Find Yourself

Attachment is the root of all suffering — Buddha

I remember in my twenties chasing the American dream. I went to college to get a degree in marketing. I got married and had 2.3 kids (or 4). I got a great job and was quickly promoted up the company ladder. I bought nice cars and a nice house. I bought an airplane. I lived in Switzerland for a year, then moved to Singapore for a year. I had it made.

Laying the Groundwork

Before we can let go of these things, we get to define the who that is letting go. Who are we, really? This is the insight that shifted everything for me. This insight has grown over the past several years through meditation and mindfulness.

Let go of the need to control everything

Our brain wants to keep us safe. That’s its job, so it helps us feel safe by giving us the illusion of control. We like to categorize things, put them in boxes, and believe that we have some sort of control in our lives.

Let go of the need to know everything

Our attachment to the need to know everything stems from our fear of the unknown or change. The brain wants us to believe that change is unsafe, so it’s created this fear. What’s funny is that change is the only constant. If you’re not progressing, you’re regressing, or you’re dead.

Let go of the idea that You are your body and brain

Many of us get some of our validation from our looks or how smart we think we are. When we shift our perspective to believe that we’re driving around our body and that our brain is just a great supercomputer that we can use, it allows us to treat them as servants and not as masters.

Let go of the idea that your thoughts and emotions are You

We HAVE emotions. We are NOT our emotions. They are also just tools. They are not good or bad, like a smartphone or car are not good or bad. It’s how we choose to use them.

Let go of your opinions

An opinion is a point of view based on our experience. It is not right or wrong, it’s simply our perspective. Too many times, we believe our opinions are truth, and so we fight to defend them, especially if they are drastically different from someone else.

Let go of your ego

There are differing definitions of ego. For me, our ego is a made-up character, based on what we inherited in life, and our experiences. We also have different aspects of our ego. Our ego-character at work is probably different from the one at home.

Let go of your fears

Nearly all fear is made up, and is based on the future. Think about it. Danger is real, but fear is optional. We have a common fear of what other people think of us, but we don’t really know what anybody thinks of us unless they tell us.

Let go of what you think you know about love

Did any of us receive a formal education in love? No. Where did we learn about it? From imperfect models; our parents, family and friends as we were growing up. If I was raised in an abusive home and you were raised in a loving home, our experiences of love would be drastically different.

Let go of guilt and shame

In his book “Power Versus Force”, David Hawkins states that different emotions have different vibrational frequencies. Blame, guilt, and shame rate at very low frequencies, while emotions like love and gratitude have high frequencies.

Let go of labels and judgments

Labels and judgments divide. They are fear-based. They create an energetic resistance around them. They also box us or others in. They tell us who we should be, based on a category. Labels and judgments seem to be black and white, then in reality, there is a whole lot of gray in between.

Bringing it All Together

If I could summarize all of this, it is to surrender to what is. It is being mindful, being the nonjudgmental present observer. It is practicing non-attachment to our thoughts, emotions, bodies, brains, opinions, egos, fears and the other things mentioned.

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Zenpowerment- Randy Scott

Zenpowerment- Randy Scott

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Helping people create their path of peace, power and purpose with Zenpowerment. http://www.myzenpowerment.com